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Katie Hopkins: In Attack Of The Side Boob

The loud mouth slags off Emma Watson, Cheska Hull and Miley Cyrus for making underboob cool. Controversial TV star Katie Hopkins, who is mum to India, 9, Poppy, 8 and five-year-old Max is blogging exclusively for Yahoo. This week she attacks that famous wardrobe malfunction aka the side boob. I am a big fan of boobs - I am the first to tell a woman she has amazing norks and my children say they prefer cuddling my girlfriends because they have proper boobs.
Danielle Lloyd shows off a significant amount of side boob. Copyright [Wenn] But what is it with the side boob? Why are celebrities so desperate to show us bits of them we don’t need to see? Before you pipe up and say I’m jealous – I know I am. Mine have been described as two jelly tots on an ironing board and are chicken filleted to within an inch of their lives whenever I need to look like a woman. Casey Batchelor from Big Brother looks amazing in a bikini because she has the sort of boobs that shout ‘I AM A WOMAN’. Men say the side boob is exciting – a glimpse at something they would love to get their paws on. When done tastefully – (a round of applause for Lady Victoria Hervey) – they may have a point. The side boob with a sheer covering is like a naked woman behind a net curtain. But your regular celeb-side-boob (celideboob?) is a mess. Emma Watson needed to give this look a miss. Her sad side boobs are barely there. To have a ‘sidey’ – you need a boob in the first place. She needs to stay in the chicken fillet territory which I know so well.
Emma Watson shows a hint of side boob. Copyright [Getty] Others just don’t know when to stop flashing the flesh – a side boob is more than enough. Sharon Stone decided to slash her red dress up to the crotch as well just for good measure. Sophia Bush is guilty of this too. If you are going to do a side boob for god’s sake leave it at that. When there is more flesh than dress you have gone too far. Over-doing the side boob can result in embarrassment all round or look like you have decided to turn up topless. Michaela Schaefer – I am talking about you. Made in Chelsea’s Francesca Hull decided to compliment her over exposed side boob with back fat and stretch marks. Yum, yum.
Cheska also had her side boob on display recently. Copyright [Rex] Miley Cyrus had to take it one step further with the under boob. I feel like I have spent a lot of time with Miley naked recently and I don’t even know the woman.
Miley has pulled out the underboob. Copyright [Twitter] If the only way you can get attention is by showing your underboob you’ve reached the end of the road. I am hoping the side boob will soon be consigned to Room 101. I dread to think what’s next. If it is the back and crack I urge you not to go there.

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