Skip to main content

Unable To Attract A Single Girl, Fraustrated Man Sues Close-Up Toothpaste



frustrated man2In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the company, which owns the Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.
The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Close-Up toothpaste for over seven years now. Close-Up advertisements suggest that the product helps men in instantly attracting women by letting their breaths out.
Anthony Olatunfe, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used Close-Up tubes to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products. Anthony was pushed to take this step when his female boss slapped his face when he tried to kiss her after brushing his teeth with the Close-Up toothpaste.
“Where is the Close-Up effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much close up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV. “
Anthony claims that he had been using the toothpaste as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Close-Up effect despite using the product as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a slap from my boss.” Anthony expressed his frustration.
Unilever has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company is worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Anthony was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Close-Up effect to take place. Officially Unilever has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that they could have tough time convincing the court.
“Unilever might be tempted to argue that Anthony is too ugly to attract a girl, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely unattractive guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” Barrister Festus Keyamo said. 
Source: InfoNaija

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MISS EDEMAYA BEAUTY PAGEANT 2013

EdemAya, a community so rich in mineral resources, and one of the five clans that make up the present day Ikot Abasi Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria is hosting the world on the 29 th of March 2013. As we gathered from the head of the organizing group, Miss Precious Dominic Akpan, the event is scheduled to take place at the Cooperative Hall, Ikot Ubo Akama, Edemaya in Ikot Abasi, Akwa Ibom State. Three beauties are to emerge from the event which promises to be the first ever organized pageant. The Eligibility Form which are currently on sale for a token of N 2,000 will qualify the contestants to struggle for Miss EdemAya, Miss Democracy of EdemAya and Miss Culture & Tourism of EdemAya. The screening and training of the contestants commences on 25 th through 28 th of March 2013. We have been reliably informed that the event will parade ‘who is who’ in the music industry in Akwa Ibom State and a popular reggae artist from Delta State. Imagine the sque

Snoop Lion Excommunicated From The Rastafari Community

Snoop Lion excommunicated from the Rastafari Community, according to Bunny Wailer! Bunny has always had his doubts about  Snoop Lion ‘s intent and now his skepticism has taken an even stronger stance, that of excommunication. The news was broken via his  Facebook  profile and via  press release . Recently Snoop Lion has struggled to convince the Rastafari and Reggae community that he is sincere about his profession of, and transition to the faith, principles and beliefs of Rastafari. Most doubtful is Bunny Wailer the only living member of the original Wailer. ‘ Excommunication is a religious censure used to deprive, suspend, or limit membership in a religious community or to restrict certain rights within it. Some groups use the term disfellowship instead, ‘ stated Bunny’s official release. With that said, this would surely deprive Snoop Lion from direct contact to some elders within the Rastafarian community also, access to vital information and place of worship. Let us see

VIDEO: Two Girls Stripped In Public For Stealing Brazilian Hair

These two young girls were stripped naked in public by a shop owner after they were caught stealing  Brazilian hair . According to information gathered, these girls entered  the shop  as if they were interested in purchasing something. One of the girl’s intentionally decided to engage the owner in a conversation by asking lot of questions on the types of  Brazilian  hairs at the store and then the other girl was busy stealing Brazilian hairs. Watch the video  below: